I'm home! | #siantreksamerica
I am honestly left speechless when I begin to think about what this week away has done for me. I nervously booked it up and hauled myself over 5,000 miles across the globe, all in the hope to beat the anxiety that has festered inside of me for years - and I have gained so much more than that.
I was lucky enough to have the chance to meet a bunch of amazing people from around the world; from America, Australia, Barcelona, Germany, South Korea, and the UK too. All of them so different, and each adding something unique to the experience, that couldn't have been replaced. There were multiple times where their kindness warmed my heart, or their humour made me laugh until my cheeks hurt. I've been left with dozens of inside jokes and fantastic memories that will keep me smiling for years and years to come.
Sharing the reasons why I had decided to take the trip with a few of the group only made me feel more fond of them. They were supportive and congratulatory of what I had decided to do. With one fellow trekker saying they wouldn't have guessed that I suffered, because of how much I involved myself. I cannot begin to tell you just how much this means to me. After struggling with social anxiety for so long, that when I look back I can't picture my life without seeing its presence, to
. It's remarkable to me that someone couldn't see it at all. This is a wonderful feeling.
On Monday and Tuesday, even though I was returning home, I don't think I've ever felt more ready to take on the world. I proved to myself that I'm far stronger, braver, and confident than I ever believed I was. I did things I never thought I could -
and y'know what?
I did them well too. I am more in control of my illnesses than I ever thought I would be. So whilst I know the waves of difficulty that come with mental illness ebb and flow, I've undeniably shown anxiety who's boss.
I've got so much more to say about the trip, but my overwhelming happiness and pride wasn't something I could bottle up until then. My mind is already racing about the potential the future holds, and I can feel myself starting to let go of things that have kept me bound until this point. I have come so far and achieved so much. In this moment, I feel free.